Last night in Lawrence

Free State Brewery, hanging out with lifelong friends, double checking things that have already been triple checked, anxious energy, anticipation, and just enough uncertainty to feel not entirely sure this is all going to happen.

It's been a great 19 years in Lawrence and I think this town will always feel like home to an extent. It won't ever be the same again after tonight though. After almost two decades here, I have memories associated with everywhere and everything. Two years and three months is a lot of time for things to change, and a lot of the people who make this place feel like home might not be around when I get back. Either way, I don't think I'll ever be back here permanently. All good things must end.

In my freshman dorm I would wake up to Anish's alarm, find him fast asleep on the bunk below and proceed to spend the next several minutes deciphering mumblings that blended the leftovers of his dreams with his attempts to respond to my urging that he get up for class.

I'm at a point in my life right now sort of like Anish was on those mornings during the fall of 2004 on the 7th floor of Oliver Hall.

I'm hanging on to this last bit of normalcy I have here in Kansas but I can feel it slipping away, fading from my vision as I reach up to rub the sand out of my eyes and take in my new surroundings.

I'm ready to get up, but I anticipate I'll still be thinking about this dream for most of the morning.